What to Say Instead of Youre a Fighter When Someone Is Very Sick. Theres this thing we tend to do when we hear the awful news that people we know or admire have cancer or other dire diagnoses. We transform them into courageous warriors, ready to battle and conquer the forces of the evil disease. Theyre suddenly heroes. Fighters. It can feel odd to them because just a bit ago, they were everyday humans, sometimes brave, sometimes scared shitless, trying to navigate the twists and turns of life like everybody else. Upon learning the news that John Mc. Cain has an aggressive type of brain cancer, the senator was sent a flood of well wishes from past and present American leaders, all sounding a bit like an infantry soldier pep talk. Barack Obama tweeted, John Mc. Cain is an American hero one of the bravest fighters Ive ever known. Cancer doesnt know what its up against. Its cake versus ice cream for Splatoon 2s first Splatfest and were streaming all the fun live on our Twitch channel. Come and join the mayhemGive it hell, John. In a White House release, President Donald Trump stated, Senator John Mc. Cain has always been a fighter. Mike Pence wrote, Cancer picked on the wrong guy. John Mc. Cain is a fighter, and hell win this fight too. Gabrielle Giffords gave the rallying cry, Youre tough You can beat this. Fight, fight, fightIn trying times is more important than ever to consider the feelings of those around you. We areRead more Read. In a way, the surge of support felt unifying, at least for this moment in this instanceJohn, the world is behind you and sends you strength. But for some cancer patients and their families, the war metaphors felt problematic, misplaced. In an opinion piece for The Independent, Anthony Wilson took issue with describing cancer as a battle, believing this type of language hands responsibility for recovery to the patient and perpetuates a myth that only those who fight survive it. If a person dies, does that then mean he lostAlso, it gives the patient an added mental toll on top of the physical one he has zero control over. I can say after a day on a chemotherapy drip, you feel the battle is being done to you, not that you are choosing to fight in one yourself, Wilson shared on his blog. As Josh Friedman wrote in a piece for Time, Toughness and courage are staples of our cultural business. But these are not how we survive cancer. We survive cancer through luck, science, early detection and real health insurance. Kelsey Crowe, an empathy scholar and founder of the organization Help Each Other Out, says we need to find other ways to talk about late stage cancer diagnoses and other illnessesand yes, we should be talking about it. FhnzvO3Tv0g/VI2Dda6dByI/AAAAAAAAAko/5cO-hcRdLmU/w1200-h630-p-k-no-nu/bfmeboxart.png' alt='The Battle For Middle Earth 1 03 Patch Ita' title='The Battle For Middle Earth 1 03 Patch Ita' />Theres this thing we tend to do when we hear the awful news that people we know or admire have cancer or other dire diagnoses. We transform them into courageous. Noregistration upload of files up to 250MB. Not available in some countries. Crowe is the co author of the book There Is No Good Card For This What To Say And Do When Life Is Scary, Awful, And Unfair To People You Love. Heres what she believes would be helpful to say when you just dont have the right words. Im Sorry This Happened to YouCrowe says Im sorry this happened to you is a more impactful statement than Im sorry. She explains, When you say, simply, Im sorry, it can feel like youre saying, Im sorry about your whole life. It can feel a little pitying. But by rooting it in, Im so sorry this particular thing happened to you, youre not presuming to know how a persons feeling about it, and youre not suggesting that you feel sorry for their entire existence. Those who are going through something really horrible may believe that people want to avoid them, as if theyre contagious. When you say youre sorry about this one tragedy, it disconnects their identity from the tragedy, and theyre free to be themselves again. The person might say, Thank you, it sucks, and then talk to you about it. How Are You Doing Today In the book, Crowe and her co author Emily Mc. Dowell write that people often operate under this assumption that they need to find the exact right words, but really, its all about listening. Crowe says, You can say, I heard the news. This must be tough. How are you doing today and then let the person tell you if its tough or not. Some People Do Want to Be Fighters While many dont appreciate the word fight, some do, Crowe tells me. Estres Desde El Punto De Vista Fisiologico there. We should pay attention to the language they use. Sometimes, people do need a sense of resolve, something to bolster them to get out of bed and that metaphor of fight can do that, she says. Even Quakers who are nonviolent Pacifists have a line in sports events and it goes, FightFight Inner light Kill, Quakers, kill That can mobilize people. Its a rallying call to get through another day. My Bible Module Schlachter 2000. So I wouldnt give up on that language if the person is still using it. She adds that if youre in regular conversation with the person, you can address your language around the illness. The Battle For Middle Earth 1 03 Patch Ita' title='The Battle For Middle Earth 1 03 Patch Ita' />You can easily ask how somebody wants to talk about it, she says. You can say, It seems like some people dont like the word fight. What word would you like me to use You can always ask. EBkU0bQSA/UojlRlbYDAI/AAAAAAAAAfY/PSlOR7uyB_M/s1600/sshot0003_zpsa8a0f9e6.jpg' alt='The Battle For Middle Earth 1 03 Patch Ita' title='The Battle For Middle Earth 1 03 Patch Ita' />Donald Trump Will Order Military to Begin Discriminating Against Trans Troops Within Six Months. President Donald J. Trump has decided to advance his bogus ban on trans individuals openly serving in the US military beyond tweeting vague dictates on the matter. Per the Wall Street Journal, Trump is expected to issue guidance to the Pentagon and Secretary of Defense Jim Mattis which will be somewhat clearer than his original three part tweetstorm in July, which proclaimed trans people will no longer be allowed to serve in any capacity in the armed forces. There was no shortage of confusion over the tweets, which contained no actual information on how the president intended the Pentagon to carry the policy out, but did contain plenty of nonsensical rambling about decisive and overwhelming victory. Per the WSJ account, Trump is giving Mattis the ability to consider whether trans soldiers will be able to deploy when deciding who to discharge, as well as directs him to stop admitting any new trans soldiers and cut off related medical treatments for those currently serving. Mattis is being given a six month window to implement the policy. Trumps psuedomedical Twitter thesis for the decision was that trans soldiers burdened the military with tremendous medical costs and disruption, all of which is a lie of mind boggling proportions. No evidence backs this idea. Its naked pandering to bigots, and especially that particular brand of bigot eager to stigmatize trans people as mentally ill. The total cost of providing adequate medical care to the US estimated 1,3. WSJ reported, citing a 2. Rand Corp study. Even if you take the 8. One Palm Center and Naval Postgraduate School study found the cost of discharging and replacing trans service members could run as high as 9. Rands high end estimate. As for readiness, on Tuesday some 5. Trump saying the ban would disrupt the readiness of the armed forces. Research has shown there is no evidence trans troops disrupted anything in at least 1. The Rand study estimated just 2. By the way, the military at large has tens of thousands of soldiers unavailable for deployment at any given time for medical, legal or administrative reasons. As Gizmodo noted previously, the military is usually willing to shell out countless billions of dollars in sketchy contracts, unnecessary new equipment and sheer administrative waste. It wastes money left and right, and Trump wants to throw billions of dollars more on the pile anyhow. So the idea the US massive military industrial complex will be ground to a halt by the cost of paying for a few thousand soldiers heath care is beyond trite. Its insulting. Trump wants to fuck with people fighting in the US military because hes a cranky bigot, plain and simple. Wall Street Journal.